Relationship Coach Blog -Do You Expect More Than You Receive?

Relationship Coach Blog - Do you expect more than what you receive?

Who do you blame when life doesn't seem to be providing what you think it ought to on an emotional level?

Do you feel that the people around you are "coming up short" on your expectations of them?

My clients often share with me their disappointment within their relationships. Their expectations of those around them as well as of themselves frequently fall short of what they have determined is necessary for their emotional needs to be met.

They've drawn out a plan for themselves that isn't being carried out. You will feel some level of emotional distress, such as sadness, rage, or frustration, when this happens to you. There will occasionally be a trigger that sends you on an emotional roller coaster. You might discover that you start to get irritated with those close to you, especially, and "take it out on them." Why? Well, to begin with, it's a lot simpler to place responsibility elsewhere than on oneself!

Each of us has a unique set of guidelines for how life should proceed and what must occur in order for us to achieve our own unique emotional goals, such as happiness or joy. The issue is that most of our blueprints were built many years ago, presumably in our early teens, when we were less emotionally developed than we are today. We unknowingly established rules for how life ought to be and what must occur in order for those rules to be followed. We established these norms, followed them, and relied on them to keep us safe and make sense of how we thought life ought to be now and, ideally, in the future.

However, if a rule is very strict, there is a good likelihood that it won't be met. As I mentioned before, the outcome is dissatisfaction, unhappiness, resentment, or hurt.

A large portion of my work with clients involves helping them to understand their rules in-depth and learning how to change them so they can have less critical expectation and more appreciation of others and themselves.

Please get in touch with me if you're interested in learning more or book your consultation here.