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Writer's pictureJane Parker

Is Putting Your Kids Before Your Marriage Really the Right Thing to Do?

Updated: Jun 10




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Is Putting Your Kids Before Your Marriage Really the Right Thing to Do?


Putting your kids before your marriage is a dangerous practice that can lead to disastrous consequences in the long-term. It's not only important to prioritize your relationship with your spouse, but also to remember that your marriage is the foundation of your family and should be treated as such. In this blog post, I will explain why putting your children before your marriage is a recipe for disaster and what you can do to protect your relationship with your partner.


The effects of putting your kids before your marriage


When it comes to balancing the demands of marriage and family, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line. But when it comes to deciding whether you should put your kids before your marriage, the answer is clear: You should not. Putting your children before your marriage can have detrimental effects on both your relationship with your spouse and on your children.


When you prioritize your children over your marriage, it can leave your spouse feeling neglected and unappreciated. Without regular time and attention devoted to their relationship, couples can drift apart and even become resentful. This can create an atmosphere of distance and animosity, which is unhealthy for all involved.


Putting your children first can also have long-term effects on them. When parents focus too much of their energy on their children’s needs, they may neglect their own. This can lead to feelings of guilt or frustration from the parent, as well as a sense of being taken for granted from the child. Furthermore, prioritizing kids can give them the message that their own needs and wants are more important than anyone else’s. Maybe, at this point you believe they are, but how will this serve them in later life? And, within their own marriage?


By contrast, making sure your marriage is a priority sets a healthier example for your children. They learn that two people can love and support each other while still managing to meet everyone’s needs. They also understand the importance of taking care of relationships, rather than just “putting up with” them.


You are setting an example to your children of what a marriage or relationship is supposed to be like. Don't you want your childrens' spouse to put them first? Don't you want them to be in a loving relationship where they feel special and cherished? By creating a strong marriage where you both feel significant and a priority your children will benefit. They benefit from knowing that their parents are strong and together, they will feel safe and secure within your family home when they know that their parents adore each other and are united and have each other's back. When one parent puts the children first it creates an imbalance which can be scary for the children. Your partner also may feel unloved, rejected and not wanted, your children may pick up on this too.


Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that both your marriage and your children need to be nurtured and cared for to create a stable, loving home environment. Though this may mean occasionally sacrificing time with the kids, couples must prioritize their relationship if they want their children to grow up in a supportive and healthy home.


Why your marriage should be a priority

When it comes to deciding whether or not you should put your kids before marriage, it’s important to remember that your marriage is the foundation of a happy family home.

After all, your marriage will also determine the kind of relationship you have with your children. A strong, healthy marriage allows for better communication between parents and their children, as well as provides a stable environment for them to grow in.


It’s also important to make sure that your marriage is still a priority even after having children. Having children can be incredibly rewarding but can also be exhausting and time-consuming. Make sure that you and your partner take the time to nurture and care for each other, as this will help you build a strong foundation for your family. Schedule date nights, take some time apart, or just spend an evening talking and reconnecting. Your marriage is essential to the health of your family, so make sure it’s not something that you take for granted.


Having a strong marriage is also beneficial to your children. Children need stability and security, which come from having two loving parents who are connected to each other. If parents prioritize their relationship over everything else, it will help create an atmosphere of safety and security that is incredibly important for children’s growth and development.

Remember that although having children is a wonderful thing, it doesn’t mean that your marriage should take a backseat. Your marriage should always remain a priority, and taking the time to nurture it will benefit both you and your family.

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